Walk For Me: Club Avalon Book 4 Read online

  “That’s right. Because you’re afraid, because your brave bear can’t go with you on this adventure, we’re going to improvise. Arms up, princess, that’s a good girl.” God bless the beauty of a little’s trust, he thought as she obeyed, setting the bear in her lap and raising her pitifully thin arms up. He stripped her own shirt off, blocking Cutler’s view with his back, and bundled her skinny body into his oversized garment. “There, can you still smell me?”

  She nodded slowly.

  “Are you warm enough?”

  Another hesitant nod.

  “Good girl. I’m going to take your boots and pants off now, okay? Panties on,” he said before the panic in her eyes could flare into a meltdown. “Metal and magnets do not make happy friends. We’ll keep your socks on, too, so these pretty toes don’t get cold.”

  Her fingers worked restlessly in the bear’s fur as he removed anything he thought Julia wouldn’t want in the way. “Can…Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, baby. Anything you want.”

  “Do you mind when I call you Daddy?” Her voice was quiet, desolate, and he had his suspicions he’d have a very subdued, incredibly withdrawn woman to take care of over the weekend and beyond. “If I die in that thing, I want to feel like I belonged to someone, even for a few minutes.”

  “Alicia, listen to me. This is not going to kill you. You’re not dying today.” Atticus covered her hands with his and gave her his no bullshit look. “I’m done trying to deny there is something between us. Whatever’s meant to happen will happen no matter how hard we fight it, and time isn’t always kind. If you need to call me Daddy, then you do it. Belong to me, Lisha.”

  Those lean fingers trembled as she linked them though his. “Thank you…Daddy.”

  Oh yeah, that hit the fucking spot. Atticus basked in the pleasure that single word brought him before movement caught his eye. He glanced over as Julia returned with a small tray and a disarming smile.

  “All right, Alicia, I just have one more thing to do and then we are all ready for you. I see Atticus has dressed you for the occasion—are you comfortable in that?” At Alicia’s gulp, Julia gave her a gentle rub on the shoulder. “No piercings, no metalwork we should know about?”

  “No.”

  “Excellent. I just need to pop a canula in the crook of your elbow, then we’ll get you up on the table. Do you know what a canula is?” To her credit, Julia was working faster than she was talking. Atticus thought she was doing it on purpose, slowing her words down so Alicia focused on them rather than on the swipe of a disinfectant wipe over the soft skin of her inner elbow, the way quick fingers plumped the vein. “It’s nothing to be concerned about. I just slide this little plastic tube into your vein and tape it down. Takes about ten seconds, that’s all.”

  He watched Alicia’s face as she tried to follow the movement of Julia’s gloved hands, saw the exact moment she figured it out. With a yelp, she tried to jerk her arm away, but the doctor had a firm grip on the narrow wrist, and she wasn’t strong enough to break the hold of the older woman.

  “That’s not a plastic anything!” she snapped, twisting her arm to protect the vulnerable, exposed area. “That’s a needle!”

  Atticus clasped her face in his hands. “Don’t look at it, Lisha. It won’t hurt if you don’t watch. Just a scratch, just like earlier. Remember I said that you have to stay really still in there? This is going to help you do that. Julia’s going to give you something to make you feel good, so you don’t get upset and worried in there.”

  “I did not sign up for this!” she hissed, her entire body trembling now. She snapped her teeth at Julia, still using evasive tactics with her arm.

  “No, but I did. I understand you, some of what goes on inside your head, and five minutes in that machine will make you panic. Seems silly to let you go through that when it isn’t necessary, doesn’t it?” He picked up the bear, held it in front of her. “Pretend Julia isn’t here. The machine, the guy next door, they don’t exist right now. It’s just me, you, and the bear.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Not going to hold it against you, princess. Trust me, I’m not liking myself at the moment.” He danced the bear to get her attention, pleased when her eyes lost that frantic edge of desperation. “Relax for me. Thirty seconds, and you’ll be sleeping your way through one of the most tedious medical procedures known to man. What are you going to call your bear, Lisha?”

  To his relief, Alicia stopped fighting and let her arm go lax. The misery in her eyes was stark, and she flinched as Julia deftly punctured the vein and inserted the canula. He felt like a dick when he saw the flash of distress flicker over her face, made comforting shushing noises as she whimpered.

  “Flushing the line with saline, Alicia. It might feel a little cold.” Julia worked like the devil, using a syringe of clear liquid to clear the new tube in Alicia’s arm, then quickly taped the canula into place once the flush was successful. “Almost done, sweetie. Keep looking at the bear and tell me if you see anything different, okay?”

  This was harder than he expected. As Julia swapped syringes and slowly injected more liquid through the line, Alicia’s face lost all tension. Her body went limp, sliding down in the chair a few inches as she succumbed to the drugs. Those big blue eyes blinked and turned hazy, blinked again and were unfocused.

  She tried to say something, but her brain and mouth were no longer on speaking terms. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, supporting her head as it drooped. One more blink…only it wasn’t a blink, he realized.

  Alicia was out.

  “Okay, sleeping beauty is sedated. Michelle, can you get rid of the tray and prepare the nasal cannula please? We’ll give her supplemental oxygen for the duration.” Julia issued orders to the nurse as soon as she slipped back into the room. “Atticus, if you could lift Alicia and set her down right here,” she said, strolling over to the long table-like section of the machine. “You did good. That could have gone a lot worse.”

  It could’ve gone a hell of a lot better, too, he thought as he got to his feet. He didn’t like the thought of Alicia repressing any more shit, but he had a bad feeling this had just been added to her mental inventory. Carefully, he lifted her out of the chair, making damned sure his shirt covered her butt, and carried her the few feet to where Julia waited.

  “I need a few minutes,” he said quietly, stroking Lisha’s face. “Will she know if I’m not here for the next five minutes?”

  “Don’t beat yourself up, Atticus. She’s suffered through some trauma, that’s plain to see. She’d have gone through more if we hadn’t given her the sedative.” Julia offered him a smile as she gently arranged limp limbs where she needed them, then the nurse squeezed past him to slip an oxygen tube over Alicia’s head, with two tiny plastic prongs resting in her nostrils. “Go get a drink, some fresh air, and come back. Just remember to go next door, not in here. Alicia is sleeping, I promise. She won’t recall anything about the next couple of hours.”

  “Yeah. Okay.” Atticus gave his little girl one last reassuring skim of his hand over her head, then stepped back. He really needed five minutes away from here to convince himself he’d done the right thing for her, then he’d be back and ready to tackle whatever came next.

  He was only fucking human, after all.

  “Oh, and maybe swing by the nurses’ station on your way out, pick up a scrub top. The ER will have my head if you go out there and they end up with a rash of fainting cases from women who get an eyeful of you.”

  Shaking his head, Atticus slipped out of the room and let Julia do what she was best at—getting to the bottom of medical mysteries.

  *

  It was warm when he stepped out of the main entrance, the scrub top he’d borrowed straining dangerously at the seams. The radiology staff weren’t built like the ass end of a bull, unlike him, so whoever the top belonged to would have a shock when they next put it on. If there was anything left to put on—the way the thread
s were popping as he moved, he’d probably have to buy a new one for them.

  There was a steady stream of people passing him by, some heading in, others heading out. Patients on gurneys or crutches, in wheelchairs, or simply walking under their own steam. Doctors and staff with their lanyards and ID badges, EMTs in their uniforms.

  A hospital was the ultimate in human gatherings. A safe place for all, no matter what someone’s sex, color, language, or kink, but right now, it felt like a prison.

  Five minutes was all he needed, Atticus told himself, striding away from the hospital doors and taking a seat on a low section of wall. Not a designated seating area, but if anyone had a problem with it, they could say it to his face.

  He’d forgotten how exhausting it could be taking care of a little. Fulfilling, absolutely, but the adult version of a child was no less tiring than the real thing. Add in Alicia’s anxieties, her triggers, and the tangled mess of her past and the memories she lived with…it reminded him that sometimes going into a situation all guns blazing, taking down the villain and keeping the good guys safe, was a case of too little, far too fucking late.

  Alicia’s circumstances shouldn’t have lasted until she was old enough to drink, vote, and gamble. Someone should have been paying attention to her, what was going on with her parents, and she should have been removed from their care before she turned eleven.

  This shouldn’t even be in the footnotes of her history—Abraham and his bitch of a wife had obviously conspired with Fielding to capitalize on the accident, each for their own gain, using Alicia like a cash-stuffed pinata they could smack around whenever they found themselves short.

  “At least we don’t have to traipse around the damn place looking for him,” a familiar voice said from his left, sounding more pissed than relieved. “I’d have to kick his ass if he made me hike around a fucking hospital, feeling like a pervert peeking into every damn room.”

  “Loki, you are a pervert.”

  “Says the bisexual Dom who likes a hell of a lot of cream with his pie,” Loki fired back at Liam as they planted their feet in front of Atticus, looking cuter than any couple he’d ever seen. A shame really, that Loki liked women—he and Liam would have made a solid couple. “Do you ever answer your phone, Heisler?”

  He fisted his hand in his hair and yanked. “What are you two morons doing here?”

  “Oh, buddy, you have no idea what you’ve unleashed by ignoring Anarchy’s calls.” Liam tugged on his beard, tipping his head toward the sidewalk leading to the parking lot. “You’ve been incommunicado for hours, so she went to your place. No Atticus, no Alicia.”

  Loki grinned. “Of course, our fearless Archie took immediate action and used the tracking app on your phone to lead us here. One phone tree later, and you’ve got the full Avalon troop to support you. Well, aside from Braun and Bodie, given the circumstances.”

  Oh fuck. Atticus squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to envision taking the pint-sized blonde over his knee, baring her pert ass, and spanking seven bells of crimson into those dainty cheeks. “Are you kidding me? You’re more likely to survive the rest of the afternoon if you tell me you’re pulling my fucking leg, Loki.”

  That shit-eating grin didn’t fade. “No joke, brother. Whatever’s going on, we’ve got your back. I hitched a ride with Liam, but Jasper was right behind us with Archie, Thane, and Connie. Saul’s at work, but he’s coming once he finishes in like an hour.”

  Any hope of keeping Alicia’s condition secret until it was confirmed one way or another went skipping down the drain, giving Atticus the middle finger as it swirled out of sight.

  “So, who’s your friend?” Loki sat beside Att and poked his finger at the bear he’d forgotten he still clutched in his hand. “Not your usual kind of woman. On the hairy side, isn’t she?”

  He didn’t think twice before acting—his fist slammed into the firm muscles of Loki’s upper arm, just below the shoulder joint where the bruising would go deep, especially when Att ground his knuckles into the flesh. His friend’s yelp was honest, and satisfying. “I wonder how you manage to find women to fuck when you let your tongue run away with you.”

  Rubbing his wound, Loki’s eyes sparked. “That’s what they love most about me. Magic tongue, exceptionally talented fingers, and a cock that just won’t quit. I am the essential package for a damned good night.”

  Liam took the other side of Atticus, reaching out to run his fingers over the bear. They hesitated on the soggy ear Alicia had sucked on, then those gray eyes of his met Atticus’s without a trace of humor. “Ignoring the asshole over there, give me it straight. Why is she here, Att? Why didn’t you let anyone know she was back in the hospital?”

  Atticus grasped the bear in both hands and stared at it, hoping for an answer. Black eyes didn’t offer him any insight at all, not that he’d expected one to strike him. He could lie—God knew he was good at spinning webs of the damn things when necessary—or he could break Alicia’s trust and do what he was far better at…telling the truth, plainly and simply.

  “I’d like the answer to that, too.” A shadow fell over him, but he didn’t need to glance up to know he was facing one riled psychologist. “She’s been home for a week, yet you haven’t let me see her, and now she’s in the goddamn hospital? What the fuck did you do, Atticus?”

  “Why haven’t you been answering your calls?”

  “Why are you wearing a scrub top?”

  “Where’s Alicia?”

  “Why are you here? Where is she?”

  He felt his shoulders bow under the weight of why, why, why. It was the kind of pressure that could make a lesser man snap, and he was afraid of what might come out of his mouth if his temper couldn’t stand beneath the unapologetic demands of his friends. That was saying a lot, considering he was a man who prided himself on having unequivocal control over his emotions at all times.

  Loki, Jasper, and Thane were wisely holding their silence. He could see Thane had already summed the situation up, and he was doing his best to keep Connie from letting her worry for Alicia take precedence over her safety. Jasper was ranging himself behind Anarchy, and Atticus couldn’t deny his lips twitched as the sadist clamped his hand over his sub’s mouth, whispering what were no doubt threats in her ear.

  Abruptly, Atticus stood and made damned sure his posture was intimidating. Not something he enjoyed doing to his friends, not when they’d made the effort to come and support Alicia, but he abhorred showing weakness, and his own concern for her was a glaringly obvious one. “Alicia is fine. She’s having a long overdue check-up, that’s all. There’s no cause for alarm, no need for everyone to drop everything.”

  “We’re family, Att. It’s what we do.” Jasper gave him a level look.

  “And it’s appreciated. Really, it is.” He winced as he moved his shoulder and the stitching in the top gave with a soft rrrrp. “Look, I promised her I wouldn’t leave her too long. Thanks for coming out. I’ll let you all know what the doctor says when she’s finished.”

  Connie’s eyes narrowed. “I’d like to see Alicia, Att.”

  “I know, Con, but it’s not me keeping you from doing so. I’m respecting Alicia’s wishes. Until she’s ready to see everyone, there’s not a lot I can do. Just give her some time to get used to being back in society.”

  She looked down at the bear and scowled. “Do not tell me you’re adopting the idea of her as your little.” She hissed under her breath when Thane grunted something using the guise of a cough. “It is my business, Thane. I don’t want to see either of them hurt, but there’s too much trauma trapped inside that girl for her to even think about embarking on a relationship which requires an infinite amount of trust. She has to learn to love herself before she takes the next step and loves someone else.”

  “Atticus is a grown man. Alicia isn’t a child anymore.” Calm and collected, Thane shook his head at his lover. “We both agreed that if Att assumed responsibility for Alicia, we would keep from interfering. Let the
man do what he’s good at. One more word, Connie, and I’ll be the one spanking your ass tonight, regardless of whether it’s your turn to top.”

  “Fine.” Face set in mulish lines worthy of any brat, Connie lifted her chin. “We miss you. We love both of you. Don’t be strangers for much longer, otherwise hiding away in that mountain retreat of yours won’t protect you.”

  “Understood. Thanks, Connie.”

  She tossed her dark curls over her shoulder haughtily, then acquiesced and gave him a smile. “We’re a phone call away when you’re ready.”

  Thane rolled his eyes and stuck his hand out for Atticus to shake. “Good to see you, Att. You know she means well. After what went down at the house, she’s struggling to regain her balance, so she’s trying to control everything in her power to feel whole again.” He slid his free hand into her hair, gave it a quick tug. “I’ll remind her to watch her attitude when we get home.”

  One quick shake between two strong hands. It was almost enough to right himself. “Appreciate it.”

  “We’ll head out too, if you’re sure you don’t want company?” Liam rose, followed by Loki. As Bodie’s best friend, Liam had known Alicia since she was young, so he was probably the most qualified out of everyone here to demand answers, but he didn’t press the issue again. “Avalon won’t open by itself, and patrons get shitty if there’s no one behind the bar to get them their first drink of the night.”

  “I’m good, thanks.”

  “Guys, could you walk my kitten back to the truck? I’ll just be a couple of minutes behind you.” Jasper tossed his keys at Thane, then watched as the three men formed a protective shield around the women. Thane’s limp was pronounced, but he kept up with the others. “I won’t keep you long, brother. I realize you need to get back inside.”

  By his estimation, he was around twenty minutes past what he’d promised. “Problem?”

  “Archie knows she shouldn’t have overstepped the line and called everyone in, but in her defense, she did it for the right reasons. Just in case you’re concocting some dastardly punishment for her.” Pale blue eyes glittered like ice under a winter sun, alive with delight at the prospect. “However, setting that aside, I spoke with her about the thing you and I discussed. We have her consent, and Connie has done a preliminary evaluation to make sure Archie is prepared for what a CNC scene will entail.”